Project365, #1: My trip to the zoo!

This Saturday is my birthday and my wonderful family worked together to get me a tremendous camera, the Nikon D80. My brother works for Nikon, so in a way it was his hand-me-down, but he sent it from Toyko and my parents bought me the lens. With perfect timing it arrived the day before a trip to Zoo Atlanta with some friends. After taking 700 pictures, I posted about 120 on Facebook. Here are some of my favorites to start my Project365.

Today's Observations 2-25-11

My friend Jackie and I have the greatest conversations. The real strength is our "yes and" attitude. Regardless of where it goes, we will follow the tangent and randomness to the end. Anyhow, here are some realizations, thoughts, and -isms from our chat.

1. Awesome O'Clock is the official time any douche looks in a mirror.

2. iPhone's autocorrect "merrier" into "nerdier." In this case, the change was all too appropriate. "The nerdier the better."

3. Lerv is greater than love. Lubb is greater than lerv.

4. Erin does not know how to turn off Caps Lock.

5. Tacoes are tacos made of toe meat.

6. The only appropriate response to "That's coolio with me" is "I'm Snoop Dogg with it."

7. From now on, when a woman "sleeps her way to the top" it is called "taco bribery." For example: Anne Heche is only famous because she taco bribed her way into movies.

8. New pick up line: I know you like the back of my hand...because I stare at both when I jerk it."

9. Since men have a "spank bank" women have a "snatch cache" or "breast manifest," but not "manifestival" because that is the best name ever for a male strip club.

10. Hannibal Lector's favorite band is called Face Face.

An immediate follow up...

One topic has dominated my journals in the past few years: what I like to call "post-college growing pains." I'm sure many out there understand, but it is what happens (or doesn't happen actually) once the forced socialization of classes and dorm life ends and true(r) adulthood begins. People move, jobs occupy epic amounts of time, and friendships change. A forty minute drive becomes a drawn out journey. It is hard. It has been six years now, and I've still not adjusted. Like any other relationship, it requires work. However, I've found it has primarily come from my end. I make the drive, I make the call, I arrange the plan. I cannot allow myself to think that this one-side exercising of friendships means they are not strong. I just wonder if I'm the only person of my circle of friends to reach this moment. 

For years I considered myself a "social camel," reveling in, if not preferring, my solitude. But somewhere there was change. There is no greater missed opportunity now than one that could have been with friends. Why the change? Was it the slightest increase in "wisdom?" Or a lack of fulfillment with myself? Trying it figure that out.

Either way, tonight was the solution I needed. Still feeling I kind of finagled myself into this small party. Again, what is that? These people know me and care for me, but, in my mind, I wouldn't have been invited if I didn't kind of injected myself in there. Anyhow, it was just the thing for what ailed me. I've been lonely and feeling sorry for myself and the opportunity to talk to my friends and make them laugh meant the world. It always does. Our ability to make something out of nothing (chants of "Wiebe!" and group-sing of "You're The Best") never ceases to amaze me and I've yet to find it in any other group of people. Anyhow, it was delightful, but again there was part of me that began to feel "I contribute nothing." My job, to most, does not seem interesting. Perhaps the special needs community makes some people feel uncomfortable, but those are the individuals I work with, and well, talking about autism certainly isn't conducive to a good time for a group of artists. And then I try to relate on a creative level, but the vocabulary is different. I fancy myself a writer, but again I talk myself down, certain my writing isn't worth sharing.

...

Yikes, that got weird. Yeah, so post #2 ended up being more a ramble than anything. It's my second one and it is nearly 3am, so it will improve. I promise. I'm writing these in a stream, trying to not edit and just let it be raw. If that works, I'll keep it up, if not, I'll see if I can't make it more pliable in structure.

Prediction for the next post: why I want to create but likely never will.

Here we go...

To preface this initial entry, this venture has not come from a healthy place. Having hit a rough patch, I feel the need to talk. Cheaper than therapy and with the added bonus of walking that fine line between public and private. There are things I need to get off my chest, and here strangers can read, friends can find, or no-one will care. In short, it covers all the bases.

I've had these pseudo-public journals before, but have practically always hidden behind an avatar or written through a site where the journals were a secondary component and thus often overlooked. Again, I want people to read, but don't want to seem like I want them to read.

So be warned: this may become self-indulgent. It may, at least initially, be somber. It may not last. It may just become me blagging on about movies or politics or...well most likely those two. Either way, at the moment I feel the need and simply typing notes to myself does not feel like enough.

Again, indulgent, nerdy, introspective, and hopefully funny. I'll get there.